What do you do when nothing works—when everything is falling apart, and there seem to be no options? Well-wishers, motivational speakers, friends, and family, offer advice like: have faith, pray, or send positive thoughts into the universe. However, if year after year, nothing changes, what do you do?
It’s one thing if the status quo remains, but how about when everything is going wrong or seems to be getting worse? Some people got a healthy dosage of that thing that keeps them going no matter how much life punches them in the face. Others, eventually implode or get to the point where they’re pretty much in a state of paralysis.
Worst Game Ever
It’s like you’re told you have to play in a competitive card game. You don’t know the rules, but you’re supposed to win—and you only get one chance. If you don’t make smart plays, you stand to lose—big time! Some players seem to figure it out right away, some eventually, while others make a few mistakes but then, an “a-ha” moment and then they’ve got it made,
Every hand presents an opportunity to change the outcome, to hopefully get one step closer to winning. Except whatever you draw from the deck or get from the dealer is never right. There are times when you have a hand that looks promising, and you dare to get excited. Yet some way, somehow, in what seems like a sinister joke, your hand is useless.
You notice that some with a similar hand or even a worse hand manage to progress through the game. However, you remain at the beginners’ table, looking around at the smiling happy faces of those around you. How is everyone else winning at life?
The weight of life and it’s constant demands and challenges eventually take a toll. You get to a point where you can’t think, can’t function. You no longer trust your thoughts or your motives. There’s a paralysis of will. There doesn’t seem to be any reason to make plans or believe if everything always falls apart.
The mental begins to affect the physical to the extent that you feel completely immobilized. You don’t want to get out of bed. Facing each day brings dread since waking moments usher in the reality of unrealized dreams and cryptic life puzzles. You’re scared to think, wary of hope, and too tired to be.
An analytical approach would mean isolating each problem to determine a cause and hopefully a solution. However, you might find that you’re spinning the wheels of your mind at every waking moment to no avail. Getting yourself going is a feat when there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. The best bet is to try to distract yourself from the problems that cause you to feel paralyzed.
Stressing over life’s curve balls is a sure way to experience adverse health effects including depression. If you cannot change your circumstances, focus on something else or someone else. Sometimes our problems stem from our stubborn approach to life or an unwillingness to step outside our comfort zone. You’d be lying to yourself if you say you’re doing all you can if that only exists within that radius in which you feel safe.
Mohammed and the Mountain
You know the adage: If the mountain won’t come to Mohammed, then Mohammed must go to the mountain. Don’t complain if you won’t do what it takes to rise up and move on. You can stay in the pit and fuss. However, at some point, you have to decide to do the grunt work so that you can get on the other side of your problems.
No one should spend a lifetime complaining about the same issues. If you’ve been making the same resolutions for decades or trying to change the same things year after year, it’s time for serious introspection. It’s easy to blame others or even life's circumstances. However, victory and defeating mental paralysis often start with a hard look in the mirror.